The 15 Stages of Super Bowl Grief

These stages begin in childhood and carry on, each stage representing a successive year of the Super Bowl, progressing onward into adulthood:

1. Super Bowl? Hmm....

2. Super Bowl!

3. Suuperrrr Bowlllll!!!

4. Yeah, ok. Super Bowl.

5. Eh, Super Bowl. But commercials?!

6. Commercials!!

7. Eh, just the commercials...

8. Ugh...commercials. And nacho cheese dip!

9. Only the half time show. ONLY.

10. No more Super Bowl! Down with Super Bowl!

11. What? You don't still watch the Super Bowl do you?!

12. Someone else: "Wait. You're not watching the Super Bowl?" NO!!

13. Someone else: "Not even for the commercials?" NOOO!!!

14. ----- ------ ------ ----- ------ ------- ----- ...... (in other words, silent, bitter, pride filled resentment)

15. Huh? What? Super Bowl? ....Oh yeah, Super Bowl....No, just Netflix....Ah....Netflix!

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